By Nkechi Eze
The Defence and Police Officers’ Wives Association (DEPOWA), a renowned organization dedicated to enhancing the well-being of military families, on the 17 January 2025, organized a groundbreaking workshop exclusively for the wives of officers. The training, titled “Emotional Intelligence” is aimed to equip these remarkable women with the essential tools to navigate life’s challenges with resilience and poise.
The workshop, held at the Armed Forces Officers’ Mess Asokoro, brought together over 100 wives from various military units. As they gathered in the conference hall, the air was filled with excitement and anticipation. Many of these women had been supporting their husbands through countless deployments, relocations, and other hardships, often putting their own emotional needs on the back burner.
The DEPOWA President Mrs. Oghogho Musa in her welcome address noted that the essence of the workshop is to equip military wives with essential skills to navigate personal and professional relationships effectively. “The aim is to build the capacity and mental abilities of the participants”. She said.
“As wives of officers, we often navigate unique challenges and responsibilities that require strength, resilience, and compassion. Today’s training is designed to help us enhance our emotional awareness and refine the social skills necessary to build deeper, more meaningful connections with our loved ones, colleagues, and the broader society.”
According to the wife of the Chief of Defence Staff (CDS), emotional intelligence is a skill set that allows a person understand and manage emotions, as well as recognize and influence the emotions of others.
“By becoming more self-aware, learning to manage our emotions effectively, and fostering positive relationships, we not only contribute to the growth of those around us but also set the stage for personal fulfillment and harmony in our homes and society by having a positive mindset towards situations in our lives” she said. Mrs Musa further stated that, ‘her expectation is that all presidents, vice presidents and representatives of all associations will have the training replicated in their various chapters.
Speaking on Protocol for Armed Forces Spouses and DEPOWA Members, wife of the immediate past Chief of Defence Staff Barr. (Mrs) Victoria Anwuli Irabor highlighted that the Nigerian Armed Forces have a rich tradition of discipline and respect for hierarchy.
She stated that “As part of this tradition, the wives of military personnel, as well as members of the Defence and Police Officers’ Wives Association (DEPOWA), are expected to adhere to certain protocols. These protocols are designed to promote unity, respect, and discipline within the military community”
Mrs Irabor noted that DEPOWA members and armed forces wives are expected to show respect to senior officers’ wives and husbands. She further highlighted some key protocol guidelines such as dress code, punctuality and communication.
According to Mrs Irabor, “Wives are expected to support one another, especially during difficult times, wives are encouraged to participate in authorized military events and functions, wives are expected to maintain confidentiality on military matters.”
“Adhering to these protocols is essential for promoting unity, respect, and discipline within the military community” she said.
Led by an expert facilitator Mrs Aisha Yakubu, the workshop delved into the fundamentals of emotional intelligence, exploring topics such as self-awareness, empathy, and effective communication. Through engaging discussions, role-playing exercises, and introspective activities, the participants gained a deeper understanding of their own emotional landscapes and developed practical strategies to manage stress, build stronger relationships, and cultivate a positive mindset.
One of the participants, Mrs Amina Sanni, whose husband serves in the Air Force, said “Today’s training has been incredibly enlightening, particularly in regards to the importance of respect in my role as a military wife. I’ve gained a deeper understanding of the need to adhere to established protocols and respond respectfully to guidance from senior spouses. My key takeaway is the significance of respect, and I’m grateful for the way this training has transformed my perspective and informed my future interactions.”
Another Participant Mrs Chalya Ruth Gambo, whose husband serves in the Army, said “I wholeheartedly welcome this initiative. Continuous training and self-improvement are crucial for personal growth, especially for military wives like ourselves. Emotional intelligence is a deliberate and conscious mindset that enhances our interactions with others. This training couldn’t be more timely.
My key takeaway is that emotions are an integral part of life, but it’s our responsibility to manage and regulate them effectively.”
Barr. Antoniette Obiuwebi, whose husband served in the Police said “Given that we’re still at the beginning of the year, a time when many people are making resolutions and setting goals, I firmly believe this training is both timely and essential. It focuses on mental health, wellbeing, and discipline, serving as a vital reminder for everyone to be mindful of their surroundings and actions. By participating in this training, we’ll be better equipped to succeed in the months ahead and make the most of the year.”
As the workshop drew to a close, the participants came together to share their insights, gratitude, and newfound connections. The event created a safe, supportive community where these extraordinary women could grow, learn, and thrive together.
In her lecture, Celina Unogwu another facilitator, emphasized the critical role that emotional intelligence plays in fostering strong, resilient families. “As the pillars of strength behind our military officers,” she said, “you deserve to prioritize your own emotional well-being. We hope that the tools and connections you’ve gained here will continue to empower you on your journey.” She said.
As the wives of officers departed the workshop, they carried with them a renewed sense of purpose, confidence, and emotional intelligence – ready to face life’s challenges with courage, compassion, and poise.
